You know how in this post I was saying how unhappy and unmotivated I was with school? Well, after a lot of thinking, I've come to a conclusion that just makes me too happy for words: I am changing my major.
Seems simple enough, right?
I don't know why I didn't do it sooner...actually I do, and it was really that I was afraid to admit that I just wasn't cut out for engineering school. After all, going to Carnegie Mellon for engineering is kind of a big deal, and I was pretty proud to tell people that when they asked what I was up to. But the late nights spent studying information that I had no interest in retaining and the constant boredom in class made me think that I really have other things that I am meant to study.
I am in the process of declaring myself as an Ethics, History, and Public Policy major, which is an interdisciplinary degree that is unique to CMU. The course list is full of topics that really fascinate me, unlike my previous course load of physics, thermodynamics, blah, blah, blah. I don't know if I had ever intended to take a PE exam (Professional Engineering, for all you who don't know), but I had always thought that with an engineering degree I could do whatever I wanted. All I had to do was get the degree, but it's been a miserable 2.5 years already, and I don't think I could take much more of it. Now I am minoring in Environmental Engineering and getting to do what I want.
Now, who knows? I can study abroad (a HUGE dream of mine), go to grad school, actually get good grades for the amount of work that I am putting in, be HAPPY...the possibilities are endless.
I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders and the world is now full of limitless possibilities. And now that I am so much wiser, I say this: don't be afraid to follow your dreams. Don't worry about what other people think and do what makes you happy.
I am going to curl up with some Thoreau and a mug of tea. It's raining and I don't have physics homework anymore - it's a good day.