chic or geek

a mildly aspirational blog of my life, times, and taste

notes on being a beginner ballerina

lifestyleAnna KellerComment
Transient

I'm not the kind of person who likes to perform.  throughout my entire life, I've found a million excuses to not give presentations or skip a major test on the day it's given.  I'll take a grade cut or miss out on a team bonding session just so that I don't feel pressure.  I can't even say that I am super shy or have paralyzing stage fright.  at least, not anymore - I was one heck of an awkward child who couldn't handle standing at the front of a classroom to save my life.  I've taken public speaking classes and done concerts as a part of a very small group of singers, and I'll do it and be fine but I just don't like it.  I hate the drawn-out anxiety that comes with the culmination of all that you've learned and in all honesty, I'd rather not do it.

so last week, after 5 months of beginner ballet classes at the Flynn, I had my first ever ballet recital and I am rather happy that I didn't do my regular thing and ditch the performance.  I had an out, too; all I had to say was that I couldn't make the showcase.  alas, I didn't, and I made it through all 3 minutes and 11 seconds of the Hungarian dance from Swan Lake.  

sure, I messed up plenty.  I had never quite mastered my assemble and my legs just would not straighten in my arabesque, but I honestly didn't care.  I'd practiced a bit, not too much, and I had definitely come a long way in the last few months I'd spent breaking in my soft pink leather ballet shoes.

will I take the class again?  probably, but it will definitely be the level 1 class again.  I learned a lot but not enough to move up a level.  and I know that my inner five year old came out a bit in my all black ensemble with my hair high in a tight bun.  just because I'm not going to ever go en point doesn't mean I can't practice my spins at night while I wait for my dinner to heat up.